he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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