I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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