"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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