She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
