I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
