I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
