I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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