So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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