It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
