somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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