I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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