I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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