What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
