i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
