So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
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i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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