If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
