Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
