I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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