Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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