We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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