I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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