Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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