Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
