i may or may not be watching the land before time
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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