Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
