if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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