i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My ass is underappreciated
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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