Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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