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• (616): View more from Michigan

  dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.

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• (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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• (916): View more from California

  let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.

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• (714): View more from California

  Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

  (951): View more from California

  Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

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• (646): View more from New York

  His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?

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