Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize