All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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