lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When are your genitals available?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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