I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
