beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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