we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The power of my boobs compel you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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