I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
