when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
