i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
