I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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