you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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