saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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