giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
