Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
