I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
