you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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