i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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