Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
