i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
