So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
