Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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