there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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