No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We were destined to go to rehab together
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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