Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
