Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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