Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
