we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
