I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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