Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize